Link Love 1/8/16

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Oh man, I cannot remember the last time I did a link love… Sorry for my lack of love!! I just have been so busy with school that I forget these things. This week I have gathered several great reads for you all that I hope is helpful!

Recovery:

The Truth About “False” Recovery – Strong Steady

My dear friend Jordan really gets deep and real with this one. Everyone should definitely read this…. GO!

Spontaneity With Food and Exercise – Blissful Lyss

Alyssa has such a way with words, oh so true. Life doesn’t need to be perfectly planned out.

Weight Gain Reflection – Oatmeal and Optimism

This is a really eye-opening and realistic post about college. I love Alicia’s honesty and realness. ❀

NOMS:

Vegan Chocolate Crunch Bars w/ Peanut Butter Drizzle – Oh She Glows

Oh, now I see why she glows…. cover me in peanut butter ❀

Pumpkin Mug Pie w/ Toffee and Caramel – Yammie’s Noshery

I can’t even. No words. I’m hungry just looking at this. (I just ate)

Chia and Flaxseed Peanut Butter Chocolate Granola – Hungry Girl 325

Sorry for all the peanut butter in this post… Actually, i’m not sorry. This granola sounds BOMB!

Random Reads:

27 Ways To Decorate Your Home That Is Actually Inspirational – Buzz Feed

I like this, I like this a lot πŸ˜‰

DIY Canvas Wall Art Ideas – Crafts By Amanda

I don’t know about you, but I LOVE crafting! It’s a great stress reliever and a good way to start a new hobby πŸ™‚

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coming Out About Your ED

fdsEating disorders are made up of several traits. One of those traits is being secretive and not wanting others to know about it. It wants you all to itself and allows no one in. I remember years ago when I didn’t even think I had an eating disorder and lashed out at the doctors when they told me I had one. However, one of the most important things you need to do when you feel you have signs of any kind of eating disorder is to tell someone.

Even if you need to tell just one person. Someone you are close with, that supports you, or even someone you know that you just enjoy talking to. It is NOT as bad as your brain tells you its going to be. More than likely, the talk will bring you closer to that person and they might feel honored that you chose them to tell.

When people at school found out about me going to a treatment center, I was freaked out about returning and what people would say to me. When I came back, it was like normal. Sure people spread the word and pretty much everyone knew… but they treated me like they would have if I hadn’t left. I did receive one comment from a kid in class saying something like “at least you have some meat on you now.” This comment has stuck with me to this day. A part of me felt like he was calling me “fat” but logically, he was calling me “healthy”. He was so ignorant to how sensitive I was to words like that and I recognize this now. STOP GIVING A SHIT! Just because he made that comment does not change the fact that if I had continued down that road, I would have died. He didn’t know that. But I did. You must be stronger than the words that get thrown around and just move on. Easier said than done… but very possible.

What you need to understand is not everyone in this world is going to be your friend and love you. That’s just the way it goes. Make peace with it. Focus your attention on the ones that lift you up and make you smile. Those are the ones that are going to matter for you in the long-run.

No one deserves to be left to suffer by themselves. This is similar to people with an addictions. Do you think it would be right for them to keep engaging in their addictive behavior knowing that it is slowly killing them? NO! Every person has a right to voice any problems they are going through. Voicing this does not make you weak, it does not make you a failure. It makes you STRONG because you are taking the first step toward recovery.

recoverQuite honestly, I do not think I would have recovered if my family knew nothing about it. They eventually would have had to find out because it starts becoming super obvious, but having that talk truly makes your relationship better rather than taking a hard fall. I give my parents SO much credit for taking me to 4 different treatment centers within the 4 years I was struggling. They came to visit me, attended family sessions, and we worked together to figure out how to improve “family life” back at home that may have been a “trigger” for me. (hate that word, lol, sorry)

Explain to them what is going on in your head. Let them know that you did not ask for an eating disorder- NO ONE DOES! But recognizing it and having a support system to help you fight for your life back is the greatest gift you can receive.

Keep in mind, you DO NOT need to be underweight or taken to the hospital to suffer from an eating disorder. Absolutely not. Do not wait until you get to that point because let me tell you, it’s no fun. It is not glorious, you will regret getting to that point as it will serve you nothing for your future or your health. Fight it before it spirals out of control. Fight it so you don’t have to wake up every morning freezing and frail. Fight it so you will have healthy hormones. Fight it, but don’t fight it alone.

How I’ve Grown

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It’s amazing how much one can change in the span of one year.

I used to be the girl that threw away food when no one was looking, now I’m the girl that licks the plate.

I used to think of all the ways to burn calories, now I can focus on things that matter in life.

I don’t force myself to go on a walk if I don’t want to

I let myself eat things off my plate before I sit down at the table

I don’t plan meals ahead, I eat intuitively

I enjoy a good nap every now and again

I can eat at restaurants without just ordering a salad and really enjoy it

I don’t think twice about eating a meal or a snack

I don’t religiously do crunches all day, it’s a waste of time

I take way less pictures of my body

I wear clothes that make me feel good, not to show off or hide away my body

I voice if I’m struggling instead of lying to myself

I don’t want to be skinny, I want to be strong

I don’t want a model body, I want to find true happiness

Change doesn’t happen overnight, it is a process and it’s worth it ❀

Never Giving Up

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Sometimes, we lose motivation. We don’t feel like there isn’t any reason to get better, stay better, to eat, to be social, to have fun like everyone else. But your life has sooooo many reasons and you are still entitled to all of those things despite those temporary emotions. There is always a reason to keep fighting.

Your family

They love you unconditionally. Whether you have a good or bad relationship, there is always going to be love there. You were brought into this world for a very good reason. They want nothing more than to see you rise above your obstacles and achieve great things. I don’t think I would be the person I am today without them.

You are stronger than you think

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All it takes is the internal motivation and power. You can do so many things that you tell yourself you can’t. It may take lots of practice and set backs but progress is far better than standing still or going back. Take some time and recognize what you have achieved and be your own cheerleader.

Prove the haters wrong

There will always be people that don’t believe in you. Prove them wrong. Go the extra mile because I will tell you there is nothing better and more self-satisfactory than beating something you once thought impossible.

Be patient

It takes time. I have heard that it takes 21 days to form a habit. That’s almost a MONTH! But if you keep pushing and pushing for those first uncomfortable days or weeks, it will be SO WORTH THE PUSHING! Deep breaths really help πŸ™‚

Remember the ones that have it worse

As sad as it is, there are people out there with absolutely nothing, They have to beg for money, food, and shelter every day. Be happy that you don’t have to go through that, Count your blessings.

If other people can do it- SO CAN YOU

obstacles Don’t play the “helpless victim” and cheat your own self. You have the power just like every other soul. Take care of your self and don’t wait or expect others to do it for you. Believe in yourself and don’t rely on people pleasing. You know it is possible. It doesn’t have to be a dream.

College is… different

College is different. It was a scary transition because I am so used to making my own meals, not being on the go all the time and had time to myself.
College is the complete opposite and let me tell you, I am not used to staying up late. I literally have big bags under my eyes by the end of the day so I don’t stay up all night like most people.

One thing I’m learning is that meaning of food has changed. It no longer is something I spend so much of my day trying to perfect. It’s something that keeps me alive no matter what it is. I cannot afford to lose weight in college. I have no intentions to. What I do know is what my body needs. I am walking miles a day, I NEED soo much fuel right now. I carry snacks with me at all times and I’m not shy when filling up my plate in the dining hall.

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Even if I may not be completely comfortable with my food choices, I don’t think about it as much because I just don’t have the time. If I need to eat poptarts at 10:00 pm, then I do. If that means adding fries to my meal, I do it. I have worked too hard to let my progress fall down the drain.

Not saying it’s always easy when I see girls after hours of school just eat a small salad. I have learned to push it aside because my body has different needs than theirs. One thing that is coming back for me is normal hunger cues which I am thrilled about because it makes it easier to eat. There was a point I was absolutely never hungry.

This is changing me for the better. I know if I never got this opportunity, I would not have grown or broke the bad habits I had for myself.

Please go break those rules you have. This week has truly shown me that life is SO MUCH MORE THAN FOOD AND EXERCISE. Get to know people! They won’t judge you like you think they will. Being social is one of the best self esteem boosters.

I am ready for whatever life will throw at me.

Gaining More Than Pounds

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Recovering is not just about the weight. Recovering is fighting for your actual life back as well. Fighting a nasty disorder brings out a whole new person. You might not be the same person you were before but it’s because you have gone through a life changing situation. Nothing in the world wrong with that- take what you know and use that knowledge to make you a better person.

Awesome Recovery Perks:

  • Strong, shiny hair
  • Being able to have a genuine smile and laugh
  • Curves are hot, Bones are not!
  • A face full of life and color
  • Double D’s and juicy doubles (lol….. sadly not for me)
  • Not having to set the house to 80 F to feel warm
  • Better sleep and sleeping In
  • My period! (almost there)
  • Not spending hours of your day worrying about food and working out
  • Developing relationships
  • Loving your body
  • Spontaneous meals
  • DESSERT
  • Walking up the stairs without feeling like you are dying
  • Shaving arm pits because they were too concave before 
  • You heal so much faster!
  • You are able to tan- being nutrient and vitamin deficient from unproper nutrition makes it impossible to get a nice tan (vitamin D)
  • Creativity. I totally lost the will to get creative and do productive things that made me happy
  • Motivation. I don’t always feel motivated but when I am, I am more able to do the task right.
  • Shopping is…. FUN? YES! Body confidence is tricky but you know how amazing it is to try on clothes and it actually fits instead of making you feel more sad. Empowering.

I know there are far more spectacular things I probably didn’t mention but these are definitely positive perks I have discovered by sticking to recovery. It wasn’t easy at all, but nothing ever truly worth it is a piece of cake (pun intended). It can be difficult to remember all the amazing things you are gaining when it seems like the weight is the only thing but I promise you it’s not! You are becoming more and more beautiful the closer you get to healthy. ❀

The Big 18

Caution: Baby Emmy pictures below.

 18 years old. I can’t believe I am finally entering adulthood. Such a scary yet thrilling thought to me. Birthdays aren’t like they used to be. I used to wake up the morning of my birthday and be the most excited little girl ever. I would run down stairs and start planning the whole day of fun activities. The party, friends. presents, food, it was all so magical. Now it just seems like another day to be honest. However, I know it’s much much more than that. This is MY day. The only day of the year I have for me and I definitely should be celebrating.

I am using this time to reflect on my past 18 years of life. Do I have regrets? Maybe some… but I am not going to sit here and dwell on the things I “could’ve done”, when I should be thinking about all the things I WILL do with the rest of my life. There are so many glorious things I can do with my life now and I intend to explore some of them.  It’s interesting because I really don’t recall when my innocent childhood came to an end. Ever since I was in middle school I have been told that I am very mature for my age. I noticed that. I stopped finding the inappropriate jokes at school funny, I walked away from drama instead of starting it, I wasn’t interested in getting drunk at parties, I preferred having close-knit friends and long conversations with people rather than a large group of friends. I was okay with that. Making friends has always been harder for me because of my maturity. Don’t get me wrong, I love having fun! I really don’t consider myself a boring person because I love to do fun things, laugh, be spontaneous…. but in different ways than most teens do. Also have to put some blame on my eating disorder for some of it. Moving along though…..

I am starting fresh. Not going to let my insecurities or ignorant people get in the way of my happiness again. I’m going to let my college experience make up for all the things I missed out on in high school. I am be happy again. I know it is possible.

For my birthday this year me and my family are going out to dinner in Nashville and getting dessert somewhere! I love not precisely planning everything so we will just see where the night takes us, Birthdays arent about presents or food anymore, it’s about celebrating another year of life on this world and being with the ones that love you unconditionally.

Happy Birthday to me πŸ™‚

Get Angry

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It’s time to get angry.

Get angry at your eating disorder.

Stop yelling at your parents and loved ones for trying to help.

Stop blaming and feeling sorry for yourself.

Stop isolating because you think you have no friends.

Stop acting like there’s no way out.

Get angry. Fight the evil disorder that is taking your life away. Get so mad for all the times it kept you from being happy.

You have the control now, you really do.

Stop dragging your tired body out for runs when all it wants is rest. Sleep in.

Eat the damn cookie, eat peanut butter out of the jar, go for a third slice of pizza. Make IT angry.

You can spend years trying to hold on to it, or you can choose to destroy what has been destroying you. Choice is yours and I hope you get angry.

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Link Love 8/9/15

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It’s time for some link love because I found some very inspiring links this week that I am dying to share! This week is a bit different than most Link Loves because I found mostly recovery and health topics. Hope you enjoy!

The Problem With “Strong Not Skinny” – A Piece Of Misa

Marissa has nailed this topic beyond words. If you are struggling with exercising while trying to gain weight, you NEED to read this! She has several great posts πŸ™‚

To Change Your Life, You Must Change Your Life, Not Your Body – Hayley Full Of Life

Not kidding, one of the most powerful posts I have read ❀

How To Stop Measuring Foods – Em Recovers

I know if you have gone through an eating disorder, you more than likely have struggled with always measuring things. It’s time to stop. 

Food Rules – Running With Spoons

This isnt necessarily a new post but it for sure is a great one! Amanda is very inspiring to me πŸ™‚

Finding Balance With Food And Exercise – Beauty And Bananas

This is an all around wonderful blog and Stephanie has so many great things to say!

Extreme Hunger

When I first started refeeding my body with an adequate amount of nutrition (3000 calories a day), I felt extremely full a lot of the time. However, there were times whether between meals or right before a meal that I felt STARVING. It was a feeling of if I didn’t get food soon I would get really irritable, shaky, and the not-so-attractive hangry.Β I remember the feeling all to well.

It happened more so when I was out shopping or doing errands I would be begging my mom to go get some food. Extreme hunger is not something to be scared or ashamed of. When people go through this, they may end up eating anywhere from 3500-6000 calories a day. It is in fact a normal phase in recovery. Some people never experience it, others it may happen a lot of times. This is another sign to show that we are all so very different and have different needs.

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When your body has been restricted for so long, it goes into a “survival mode“. It slows basic biological functions and takes energy from your tissues, brain, bones, muscles, and organs just to survive. It is SO important to honor those hunger cues and EAT. Don’t ignore the hunger because you are afraid of “gaining weight” or “losing control”. Your body is giving you a clear sign that it’s trying to get back to it’s optimal weight and repair some damage. Studies have shown that no matter how much you decide to eat to recover, your body will eventually want to get to it’s “set point” in order for it to function properly. Sure you can choose to gain weight on a little amount. The downside to this is you’ll be stuck with a very slow metabolism 😦

Feeding the extreme hunger is NOT A BINGE. There is a huge difference between eating because your body needs it and with eating a days worth of food to the point of no return. You will not develop a binge eating disorder by listening to your body. It’s all part of the tough mental and physical parts of recovering, but this is what needs to happen in order to fully heal. You will eventually start feeling more content after meals and the strong cravings go down the longer you maintain a healthy recovery amount.

Trust me when I say that I was terrified too. I thought I was never going to stop eating and keep gaining and gaining. It’s a totally irrational side of the disorder that is trying to play games with you.

Secondly, let’s say your extreme hunger has calmed down and you are eating around 2,800-3,500 calories a day, and you are still gaining. Once you reach your natural weight; your optimum setpoint, you will stop gaining, and you will maintain on the same amount of calories.Β If you are experiencing extreme hunger, trust that your body knows what it’s doing and let it do what it needs to do.

I’m not a professional or a doctor, I am just sharing what I know through experience and from my own research. I hope this topic cleared up any questions you may have had but if not you can email me at:

Emlove814@gmail.com