Hey fraaands! Okay so I really wanted to do a Vlog updating you all with how things are going for me but I am really not the best with words. Like, I know what I want to say but don’t always know how to paraphrase it. For now, this will have to do (at least until I can get a good camera).
I want to tell you that I have been having an outstanding summer, but that would be just flat out lying. It hasn’t been. I used to be SUCH a morning person: your typical 6 am workout fitness chica before starting my busy day of classes. But now, when I wake up in the mornings, I no longer feel super pumped & enthused for the day ahead…. I feel like I could just go back to bed for the rest of the day. However, I still go on with my day thinking that things will turn around, but they usually don’t (unless I have coffee but i’m trying to back off). I find myself feeling drained before 3:00 and end up doing nothing all afternoon. To be honest I am surprised I am writing this post write now because even that seemed like too much for me to focus on.
I feel broken. Like someone has taken out my batteries and I am left hollow without purpose. I am beginning to think a lot of this is just psychological and my reaction to what I found out a couple weeks ago… but I’m just not sure. I have been reading up on adrenal fatigue (symptoms here) lately and it sounds almost exactly like what I am going through. With my hormones already being way out of whack, there’s no telling what kinds of crazy things my body and mind will do to protect itself.
As for now, I know I need to take it easy. After reading Robyn’s post about “how exercise affects hormones”, I really believe that in this phase of my life, I cannot handle high intense workouts anymore. I am ALL for living a healthy, balanced lifestyle and that is going to look different for each and every person. While some people can handle Crossfit or running 10 miles a day, my body can’t. It would push it deeper and deeper into an already complicated situation and I would be afraid to see the outcome.
Life is going to have so many up’s and down’s. You can’t always be the one to decide when those happen but you CAN do your very best to react accordingly. I can still be thankful that my heart is beating and that I have a roof over my head. I can choose to find things that make me happy that don’t involve stressing my body even more. I can choose to fight instead of letting this break me. I really have no idea how long I will have to give my body rest… 3 months…. 6 months…. a year? Who knows? Things don’t change overnight and because I am kinda sorta an impatient person this is going to be a challenge…. but I am also a very dedicated person.
So that’s basically what’s up been up. I can’t say I have really felt myself or felt like blogging but I do hope that I can start as I will have the extra time. Please feel free to contact me if you have any blog ideas, topics, comments, etc! Getting emails from you guys means so much to me! And if anyone has any advice or has gone through something similar let me know!
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