Seasonal depression… A thing in the past?


I had seasonal depression. Over the past few years around the time people start decorating for Halloween, I’ve feel sadness come upon me. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays! But for some reason I just have felt dreary. Seasonal depression is not uncommon at all. When the weather gets gloomy and gray in the fall/winter, people tend develop similar emotions. *Side note that my eating disorder always got worse around this time as well.
This year is different. And I think I know why.

This year, I’m not unhealthy. This year, I’m not underweight, cold, sad- I feel content.

I have a layer of fat. I love that. It keeps me warm and I don’t look like I’m dying.

I have confidence. I am not afraid to speak up for myself. I can wear other clothes besides hoodies and sweats (Even though those are my favorites). I can make small talk with the person sitting beside me and not feel like they are judging me. Because they aren’t. Most people are not like that. I believe there is more good in this world than bad.

I don’t hate my body. I wake up in the morning, if I see a little bloat or pudge, I’m okay with that. I’m okay that I don’t have the “ideal perfect body”. I see muscle now, and I LOVE that. Something I never ever could attain without a healthy weight and eating a LOT!

I have friends. I may not be as social as I would like to be sometimes, but I don’t feel lonely. I make time when I have time to see people and make sure I carry on conversation with several people throughout the day. I am not alone.

You see, it’s not all about the weather. I firmly believe I have conditioned my mind to be more positive and open minded in other aspects of my life that a little snow and wind chill  doesn’t bother me as much anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I no doubt have more motivation and energy in the spring/summer but I can live my life more efficiently now. That’s the best damn feeling.

So tell me…. Have you ever dealt with this?



3 Comments Add yours

  1. vurn2014 says:

    I suffer from SAD even at healthy weights but you are so right that life is easier to take when you can enjoy your health. Thanks for being brave & sharing this – so glad to hear this year is better/happier for you!!!


  2. superfitbabe says:

    Believe it or not, I’ve had similar symptoms! Sometimes, I’d just get so irritable or sad around the middle of December because of stress! The holidays helped me out a lot, but it came back on the school work piled back in.


  3. Ellie says:

    First, that’s awesome you haven’t had SAD this year! I kind of have to agree with you on this. Often times bad feelings are a mindset. You seem to have such a better mindset about life and your body, so there is no reason to be sad. I think having a bit extra cushion for the pushin’ probably helps out too 🙂 I’m still for all the fuzzy things too though, that’s just fun!


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