An Obsessed Society

I am an observer. For as long as I can remember, I don’t tend to overlook the little things. What I have observed over this past year of being in college is obsessions with people being glued to their phone. So, what happened? What happened to making small talk with the person beside you while waiting for class to start? What happened to that face-to-face interaction to truly get to know someone? We live in an obsessed society.

Obsessed with social media, the way our bodies look, the calories we eat in a day, the number of steps we take, being the first to know about the latest celebrity gossip…

It kind of breaks my heart.

What ever happened to the free spirited and carefree? Why do we feel the need to invest every breathing moment worrying about things that won’t even matter a month from now?

Do you want to look back in 5 years and regret not talking to that cute guy in class/at work? Do you want all of your memories to be that your FitBit told you how well you did that day or that you chose not to go to a party because of the food that was going to be served? What kind of life is that? Controlled.

This is your chance to break the cycle.

Put down your phone for a few hours a day! I DARE you. Think you could do it?

Separate yourself from what you think is “real life” and actually go out and live REAL LIFE. You would not believe how amazing it feels! SO FREE. Do your own thing, be your own person, show others the wonderful human being you are.

And when you do use social media, don’t let it consume you. Don’t allow some random person across the country interfere with YOU. If they are eating a damn piece of lettuce for lunch and running 5 miles a day, doesn’t mean you have to. If someone has a flat stomach, doesn’t mean you have to starve yourself to achieve the same thing. That person probably has genetics that allow them to have that shape… but who is to say that your shape isn’t hot? You are one sexy beast ya know.

It seems like a norm for people to wear fitness watches and to track every morsel of food they put in their bodies…. but in the end, is that the happiest way to live?

You don’t need to know everything. Think about some of the best memories you have. Do they involve any of that? Because I know for sure I have some of the best memories of being spontaneous and treating myself. I do not remember those days eating alone.

My point being, start living. You may or may not do any of the things above but then again you might do, just not realize it. The next time you come across something that rubs you the wrong way, look away and ask yourself if that’s something that is doing you good.

Seasonal depression… A thing in the past?


I had seasonal depression. Over the past few years around the time people start decorating for Halloween, I’ve feel sadness come upon me. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays! But for some reason I just have felt dreary. Seasonal depression is not uncommon at all. When the weather gets gloomy and gray in the fall/winter, people tend develop similar emotions. *Side note that my eating disorder always got worse around this time as well.
This year is different. And I think I know why.

This year, I’m not unhealthy. This year, I’m not underweight, cold, sad- I feel content.

I have a layer of fat. I love that. It keeps me warm and I don’t look like I’m dying.

I have confidence. I am not afraid to speak up for myself. I can wear other clothes besides hoodies and sweats (Even though those are my favorites). I can make small talk with the person sitting beside me and not feel like they are judging me. Because they aren’t. Most people are not like that. I believe there is more good in this world than bad.

I don’t hate my body. I wake up in the morning, if I see a little bloat or pudge, I’m okay with that. I’m okay that I don’t have the “ideal perfect body”. I see muscle now, and I LOVE that. Something I never ever could attain without a healthy weight and eating a LOT!

I have friends. I may not be as social as I would like to be sometimes, but I don’t feel lonely. I make time when I have time to see people and make sure I carry on conversation with several people throughout the day. I am not alone.

You see, it’s not all about the weather. I firmly believe I have conditioned my mind to be more positive and open minded in other aspects of my life that a little snow and wind chill  doesn’t bother me as much anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I no doubt have more motivation and energy in the spring/summer but I can live my life more efficiently now. That’s the best damn feeling.

So tell me…. Have you ever dealt with this?


Update: Taking a Break

Hey guys, long time no update…

You may have realized I have been posting a lot less on my primary Instagram account. In all honesty, I feel free without it. I was using it as a way to show people that there is a chance to have a balanced lifestyle but I did find myself scrolling through fitness accounts for hours and compare myself. It was consuming.

Life is so much more than posting a picture of your sandwich or your flat morning belly. Life is so much more than how many days you spend at the gym or how big your muscles are. Life is about living. I mean TRULY LIVING. Eating late night pizza, sleeping in, going out with friends, and not spending every night alone in your room. BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN YOUR LIFE. You are the only one that can choose to stay stuck. It’s sad. I realized I can easily find comfort in being alone but I don’t want to be that way the rest of my life. I want a relationship I can be engaged in. I want friends I can talk and laugh with. I will never have that if I stay isolated. I have been taking steps to change this around recently. I like to spend at least every other night with someone doing SOMETHING when I’m not doing homework. Whether it’s just grabbing a meal with a friend or watching a movie with my roomie. Anything to remind myself that I DO have friends and people DO care I exist.

I really have been enjoying this break from posting and I honestly don’t know if my account will be the same anymore. I am not struggling to the point where I need someone to cheer me on for eating pizza or ice cream. It’s not hard. And it kind of frustrates me that people still think I’m sick and tell me “good job” on something that I’m over. My past is not who I AM currently.

As for now, I still am taking a break besides a post here and there but it’s what I need. I may change my account’s focus to being body positive or more quotes and selfies. Whatever I decide to do, I appreciate all the ones that never gave up on me.

Random note: my dorm was being invaded by ladybugs…. Until Emmy came by and trapped them in the bottle of doom.

 At least I recycled.