When is the last time you ordered a large bag of movie theatre popcorn? Remember the first bite- the salty buttery crunch that entices your taste buds for more? Popcorn at the movies has been one of the biggest foods I have kept “off limits” for the longest time.
When I was growing up, I could eat a large bag easy and it was just considered a normal snack! After hearing so much about how “bad” it is for you I put it on the list of things never to eat, ever. It was Christmas Day right after breakfast, my family decided they wanted to see Star Wars to kill time before going over to see relatives. While the idea of sitting for 2 long hours after being in the car 8 hours the previous day, really turned me off and provoked some anxiety. However, I gave in because I had no choice.
Once we got our seats, my mom wanted to go get some popcorn and I wanted a drink. I had absolutely no intentions of eating because we ate an hour before and I wasn’t really hungry.
I was the one holding the bag in the middle and had a bite because it still smelled really good. Before I knew it, I kept popping more in my mouth. I ended up eating a bag and a half with my mom. I don’t think I have ever experienced a true binge before and most people would consider this a small “binge”, losing control, or mindless eating. You know what though? I. Don’t. Care. I don’t even consider it to be any of those because intuitive eating means eating even if you aren’t truly hungry. It means eating when something sounds good and it sometimes means eating past fullness.
This was a moment in my life that I truly felt like my old, carefree self again. Yeah, their were some mean thoughts about myself coming into my head but did I let that stop me from having the full movie experience? NO!
I may have eaten over a days worth of fat in just a snack, but I’m OKAY. The world keeps revolving and it will not kill you. Your body CAN and WILL use it!
Later on that day I had a normal Christmas dinner at my uncle’s house without thinking about restricting from food earlier that day.
This wasn’t just a recovery win for me, but a big wake up call for just experiencing NORMALCY. I need to stop holding myself back when something sounds good because of some irrational thoughts at the time.
I don’t want to look back on my life with regrets of not truly living. I want to remember being happy.
I hope you all had an amazing holiday and were able to treat yourself and enjoy it. If not, don’t beat yourself up. There is always next year and it’s never to late to start challenging yourself. Go live, eat what YOU want, and don’t let anyone or your own self hold you back.
What yummy treat did you have for Christmas?