Eating disorders are made up of several traits. One of those traits is being secretive and not wanting others to know about it. It wants you all to itself and allows no one in. I remember years ago when I didn’t even think I had an eating disorder and lashed out at the doctors when they told me I had one. However, one of the most important things you need to do when you feel you have signs of any kind of eating disorder is to tell someone.
Even if you need to tell just one person. Someone you are close with, that supports you, or even someone you know that you just enjoy talking to. It is NOT as bad as your brain tells you its going to be. More than likely, the talk will bring you closer to that person and they might feel honored that you chose them to tell.
When people at school found out about me going to a treatment center, I was freaked out about returning and what people would say to me. When I came back, it was like normal. Sure people spread the word and pretty much everyone knew… but they treated me like they would have if I hadn’t left. I did receive one comment from a kid in class saying something like “at least you have some meat on you now.” This comment has stuck with me to this day. A part of me felt like he was calling me “fat” but logically, he was calling me “healthy”. He was so ignorant to how sensitive I was to words like that and I recognize this now. STOP GIVING A SHIT! Just because he made that comment does not change the fact that if I had continued down that road, I would have died. He didn’t know that. But I did. You must be stronger than the words that get thrown around and just move on. Easier said than done… but very possible.
What you need to understand is not everyone in this world is going to be your friend and love you. That’s just the way it goes. Make peace with it. Focus your attention on the ones that lift you up and make you smile. Those are the ones that are going to matter for you in the long-run.
No one deserves to be left to suffer by themselves. This is similar to people with an addictions. Do you think it would be right for them to keep engaging in their addictive behavior knowing that it is slowly killing them? NO! Every person has a right to voice any problems they are going through. Voicing this does not make you weak, it does not make you a failure. It makes you STRONG because you are taking the first step toward recovery.
Quite honestly, I do not think I would have recovered if my family knew nothing about it. They eventually would have had to find out because it starts becoming super obvious, but having that talk truly makes your relationship better rather than taking a hard fall. I give my parents SO much credit for taking me to 4 different treatment centers within the 4 years I was struggling. They came to visit me, attended family sessions, and we worked together to figure out how to improve “family life” back at home that may have been a “trigger” for me. (hate that word, lol, sorry)
Explain to them what is going on in your head. Let them know that you did not ask for an eating disorder- NO ONE DOES! But recognizing it and having a support system to help you fight for your life back is the greatest gift you can receive.
Keep in mind, you DO NOT need to be underweight or taken to the hospital to suffer from an eating disorder. Absolutely not. Do not wait until you get to that point because let me tell you, it’s no fun. It is not glorious, you will regret getting to that point as it will serve you nothing for your future or your health. Fight it before it spirals out of control. Fight it so you don’t have to wake up every morning freezing and frail. Fight it so you will have healthy hormones. Fight it, but don’t fight it alone.