Caution: Baby Emmy pictures below.
18 years old. I can’t believe I am finally entering adulthood. Such a scary yet thrilling thought to me. Birthdays aren’t like they used to be. I used to wake up the morning of my birthday and be the most excited little girl ever. I would run down stairs and start planning the whole day of fun activities. The party, friends. presents, food, it was all so magical. Now it just seems like another day to be honest. However, I know it’s much much more than that. This is MY day. The only day of the year I have for me and I definitely should be celebrating.
I am using this time to reflect on my past 18 years of life. Do I have regrets? Maybe some… but I am not going to sit here and dwell on the things I “could’ve done”, when I should be thinking about all the things I WILL do with the rest of my life. There are so many glorious things I can do with my life now and I intend to explore some of them. It’s interesting because I really don’t recall when my innocent childhood came to an end. Ever since I was in middle school I have been told that I am very mature for my age. I noticed that. I stopped finding the inappropriate jokes at school funny, I walked away from drama instead of starting it, I wasn’t interested in getting drunk at parties, I preferred having close-knit friends and long conversations with people rather than a large group of friends. I was okay with that. Making friends has always been harder for me because of my maturity. Don’t get me wrong, I love having fun! I really don’t consider myself a boring person because I love to do fun things, laugh, be spontaneous…. but in different ways than most teens do. Also have to put some blame on my eating disorder for some of it. Moving along though…..
I am starting fresh. Not going to let my insecurities or ignorant people get in the way of my happiness again. I’m going to let my college experience make up for all the things I missed out on in high school. I am be happy again. I know it is possible.
For my birthday this year me and my family are going out to dinner in Nashville and getting dessert somewhere! I love not precisely planning everything so we will just see where the night takes us, Birthdays arent about presents or food anymore, it’s about celebrating another year of life on this world and being with the ones that love you unconditionally.
Happy Birthday to me 🙂