Wrapping Up Summer 2015

Let’s take a moment and try to find out where summer went. Seriously, I can’t find it. I can’t believe this summer is coming to a close 😦  It just went by in a heartbeat.

I took full advantage of this summer as my “last summer being a kid”. I turn 18 on August 14th and 2 days later I am college bound! Excitement and a bit of anxiety fill my heart about it all. I cannot wait to branch out of my comfort zone and meet new people & try new things. This soon-to-be independence is exactly what I need.

Taking this summer to reflect and build myself even more is what is going to lay a good foundation for leaving home. Not only was this summer 10x better than last, but I was able to truly enjoy myself.

I got to SWIM this year which is something that was totally not an option last year. I was far too cold and more uncomfortable with myself.  I am ordering burgers, pizza, pasta, fries, you name it! I don’t really remember the last time I ordered a salad at a restaurant (not including Panera). Truly enjoying every bite!

I have mended relationships with my family. I have noticed my dad and I get along so much better now along with me and my brothers. My mom and I have always been close. I almost forgot to mention that even with extended family, the tension is gone. Such a great feeling to feel apart of the family again.dadbro

I replaced my after lunch walks with naps and time for rest. This has been a HUGE step for me but man do I feel so much better. Of course it wasn’t always this easy but the more and more I did it, the more I became used to it and enjoyed the needed break. I actually feel like I get more things done with that extra 40 minutes.

I care more about my appearance. This may sound silly but even if its something simple like putting on mascara and doing your hair, you will feel so much better with yourself. Don’t get me wrong, I love those lazy, don’t give a damn days, but it does improve my confidence a bit to get fixed up sometimes.

trIn the picture on the left, I wasn’t happy. So I achieved a thigh gap, protruding bones, and had a super low body fat…. but not happiness. The picture on the right is me today. I am still working on finding what makes me happy but I won’t stop until I do. I am a fighter and I won’t let anyone get in the way of my goals. I don’t always feel so great in my body but I accept it. I don’t restrict food or exercise excessively if I’m having a bad day, I just sit with it and put my trust in God.

Summer 2015 beat summer 2014 by a landslide. (Obviously)

I wanna know:

What changes have you made this summer?

Did this summer feel better than the last?

Favorite place you visited this year?

Protein Cheesecake

  (Snickerdoodle procheesecake with peanut butter & cinnamon toast crunch)

I’ve gotten a lot of people asking me about this one so I’ll share what I did to recreate the famous “procheesecake” recipe. There several ways I have seen this done and with a little tweaking here and there, this one recipe turned out a success!

  • 2 8 oz packages fat free cream cheese
  • 1 1/2 cups greek yogurt (plain or vanilla)
  • 1 egg plus 2 egg whites
  • 2 scoops whey protein powder (HIGHLY recommend using Pescience Snickerdoodle)
  • About 3-4 packets stevia
  • dash of cinnamon

Make sure the cream cheese is at room temperature before to prevent clumps! First blend the wet ingredients on high speed in a blender or electric mixer. Then add the dry and blend until everything is mixed together. It is okay if you do have some clumps. Pour into a sprayed pie pan and bake at 250 F for 45 minutes then an additional 30-35 minutes at 325 F. I literally thought the cheesecake was going to explode because it rose so much while cooking! But don’t worry, it deflates when you take it out of the oven 🙂 Let completely cool for a few hours and put in the fridge! Lasts for about a week. The top picture I had about 1/4 of the cake and the bottom like 1/6. So I guess you can make it into as many servings as you want. NO RULES!

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That time I had procheesecake with my breakfast…… ❤

Let me know if you try it out! 🙂

What Makes Recovery So Damn Hard

You are walking down the street. You notice a billboard that reads “Shred 20 pounds in just 2 weeks”. You keep walking because it’s just another sign. You decide to grab a bite to eat. Nutrition facts and “healthier alternatives” are listed. You obviously don’t want to be the one that chooses the “unhealthy” item when everyone else is choosing the alternative. You scroll through your Instagram account and all you see are weight loss recipes and workout videos. Starting to feel bad about yourself yet? You feel challenged to do exactly what the others are doing. Maybe it would make you fit in. Maybe people would notice you, even give you a compliment? Maybe. Maybe not.

Media is a very toxic place. Especially for the ones trying to recover from an eating disorder. The several times I went to treatment facilities, they pretty much isolate you from the outside world. No phone, no TV, no internet, and no magazines. It felt like prison, but was it worth it? Yes. Very much. Not being exposed to the “diet world” we live in was the best thing for me when I was doing my worst. You get to a point where you need to be forced to do things you don’t want to and you need to be away from those things.

three girls chatting with their smartphones

Once you are strong enough to know how to properly nourish yourself, you are introduced to those things again with the skills to block it out. Not saying every day is going to be rainbows and butterflies. This is where the line draws as if anyone “truly recovers”.

You may not ever act on urges you used to, but that doesn’t mean the thoughts ever FULLY go away. It’s all about how you respond. I don’t blame you. It doesn’t make you a weak person to have thoughts. It’s NOT your fault. The sad truth is we live in a screwed up world. Everyone is confused and trying to find what’s “right”. “Right” is different for everyone.

Detox, diet cleanses, focus on weight and numbers, exercise have become socially acceptable topics of conversation even at a normal dinner party. Kids are becoming exposed, learning their mother’s ways, hence why eating disorders seem to be on the rise these days.

faKind of makes me sick.

You can do your part and try to change things in your environment. Instead of contributing to the diet talk, bring some positivity on someone’s day. Promote self love, not self hate. Spread the word that STRONG IS THE NEW SKINNY. Be mindful of what you say and who is listening, you never know what could trigger something bad on someone that is vulnerable.

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Realize that media can be a huge obstacle. If you are following people that make you feel insecure and worthless, why are you following them? Make wise decisions regarding your own progress instead of feeding off negative behaviors. 

So tell me….

Where do you think social media affects you the most?

Do you look at things daily that make you feel bad about yourself?


Warm Oatcake

This is a bit of a change up from my usual cold oatcake. Sometimes some warm oats sound good and this came out like a cake! Not dry, doesn’t deflate, and no flour(for those gluten intolerant humans)!

Recipe:

  • 1/2 cup oats
  • 2 T greek yogurt
  • 1/3 cup egg whites
  • 1/2 scoop protein powder 
  • A little milk to thicken, not too runny
  • Sweetener of choice

Mix together everything in a medium sized bowl. Microwave for 1 minute 30 seconds. Plop onto a plate or eat out of the bowl and top with the good stuff. 
This is a half eaten one… Whoops. But it was amazing. I used Pescience snickerdoodle whey and topped it with almond butter!

Half Baked Review

Oh sweet Ben and Jerry’s. My 2 home boys. No, really. They are the real deal. I like to cozy up with a good ole pint now and again to end my nights. To be honest, now that I am so close to being at my “healthy weight” it’s been a little more difficult for my mind to say that I should have these treats. I take a step back. I rationalize my thoughts:

1) Normal, healthy people of all kinds have ice cream without a second thought. Whether it be after a big meal at a restaurant or a spontaneous trip with friends- ice cream is solely meant for humans to enjoy when they have the craving.

2) I don’t need to be skinny to have a treat. I do not need to exercise for hours to win food. I don’t need to restrict intake to have ice cream at the end of the day. I most certainly DO NOT need to engage in any of these for ice cream. I did not. I had this on top of a normal day of eats and there is no harm in that.

3) Booty gains and happy dreams

After reviewing all of these in my head, I decided to venture to find an old favorite:

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I remember when I first had a pint, it was Half Baked Froyo. Bigger steps lead to the full fat ice cream!

Now in comparison to the froyo version of this pint, I may actually like the froyo a little better. Honestly, the ice cream part was more creamy and the mix-ins were more fresh. I think I may have had a bad batch because I have heard that happening to people. Regardless, I had been craving it all day so I still finished it off. I really enjoyed the generous gobs of cookie dough in my pint. It had barely any brownie until I got to the bottom and found……

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A miracle

I think this was a whole brownie. But i wouldn’t know because I ate it in one bite ❤

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I HIGHLY encourage any of you to grab a pint of real ice cream and treat yourself! You WILL NOT wake up the next morning huge or with a health problem. Ice cream is for anyone and you are not overindulging at all. Screw anyone that judges you. They just hatin. They wish they were having ice cream.

I wanna hear from you!

What is YOUR favorite Ben and Jerry’s flavor?

BEN or JERRY?

Chocolate or Vanilla?

Five Things Friday 7/24/15

FTF

TGIF! This has been one unproductive week and that’s totally okay. I am going to probably be missing these because next month is gonna be super busy!

Five Things I ate:

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Pint of BJ’S. My favorite 🙂

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Apple Pie bagels! They are being put to good use for sho.

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Smoothies! Besides this amazing green passionfruit one from Panera, I have had a smoothie every other day.

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Nachos! A big win for Emmy 🙂

I found these at Target and I am in love!

Five Things I pinned:   True Words

Puppies are my weakness

I’m Mexican, okay.

 ed

Polar bears can’t read.  Don’t call yourself names, I promise you are not an ear.

Five Things making me happy:

My animals! For those that don’t know, I have a puppy named Bailey and 2 cats named Skittles and Whiskers. I am surely going to miss them when I am away at college.

My family. This week has been up & down but my family, especially my mother has never left me or lost hope in me.

Swimming! It has been scorching hot out where I live and my pool has been an angel to me. I love to float there and forget about everything.

F.R.I.E.N.D.S, This has been my favorite show since middle school. I am obsessed and I don’t care who knows about it 🙂

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YOU GUYS! I don’t know where I would be without the constant support and encouragement from all of my lovely followers. It truly means more than you think and gives me motivation to keep working hard. I love you  ❤

Thinking Out Loud: Recovery Collage

Thursdays are meant for Thinking Out Loud! So get ready for a lot of nonsense 😉

This week I have felt really drained and sleepy. I have NO idea why this is. Usually, I am the one that goes and goes all day but I haven’t felt that motivated or full of energy. I’ve felt like sleeping and lying around….

I hate being unproductive so I thought a little project would be healthy to keep me busy. Collages are something I have done since I was a little girl. I really enjoy them and find them really relaxing to do. The topic that first came to mind was motivation. I made this collage for motivation and reflecting on my growth. If you dont know this about me, I like meaningful things. I knew this would serve a purpose so I hung it on my bulletin board 🙂

collThe left is the transformation part and the right are things that I feel are becoming more and more me! I even got crafty and tie dyed the background ❤

This took me about a day in a half because I wasn’t consistently doing it- but it definitely took my mind off things and away from social media for a while. I actually am in the process of creating one for my dorm for college!

This actually really puts me in a mood to tie dye shirts. Hmmmm…….. 🙂

On another note, I gained a pound since last week. Numbers aren’t my main focus however. I take notice of how I feel in my body and be thankful I am another step closer to end the gaining process. I do notice my shorts are tighter and shirts hang off a little different- but different doesn’t have to be bad! This is a change for the better and i’m more & more realizing how much better I feel about myself. 🙂

Anyone have good crafty ideas?

Have you made a collage before?

WIAW 7/22/15

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HOLA! You all ready to see some noms? I thought I would share what I ate on Sunday because I remembered to take pictures of everything.

Brekkie:

This was the day of barely any food in the house. The night before I made overnight oats because we still had oats and I layered it with a frozen banana since it was literally the only fruit in the house. Listen people- DO OVERNIGHT OATS RIGHT! You are supposed to leave a hefty amount of nut butter on the bottom and sides of the container or else its a boring jar and it’s not as exciting. It’s the best part to get to the bottom and experience bliss. I add the oats in the morning so the nut butter doesn’t melt into the oatmeal 🙂

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That morning my mom and I went grocery shopping and that was very exciting. Who doesn’t like to get fresh, new things? Luckily my breakfast held me over pretty good til lunch and I wasn’t really hungry but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t eat when I know I need to.

For lunch I made a wrap with chicken strips (btw, there were a lot more in there than the picture is showing), hummus and spinach wdsaith veggies and tortilla chips!

This also was the day it was scorching hot and humid. Tennessee gets that way and you will not survive if you don’t have a pool and/or good air conditioning. I went swimming for a bit with my family and chilled out that whole afternoon. I love Sundays. I wanted something sweet for a snack so I decided to give the “Beltsander Brownie” another chance since my last one almost exploded. It was too fricken good. I put a big glob of Toffee Crunch Nuts N More peanut butter on top and it was fantastic. For the brownie:

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  • 1 scoop chocolate whey(I used Quest)
  • 1 T cocoa powder
  • 1/3-1/2 cup milk (didn’t measure)
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp vanilla

Mix it all together until it looks like a sludge. Spray a bowl and microwave it for about 20-25 seconds. You don’t want to overcook it, its supposed to be thick and molten. I also had a glass of milk and a granola bar because this would not fill me up the slightest!

For some reason, I have been so sleepy this past week and I have NO idea why! I took a little nap after this and didn’t feel like leaving my bed until dinner. I haven’t been doing much to begin with and don’t stay up super late either. Anyone get like this?? I finally got the energy to roll myself outta bed and to go make some dinnah.

Pleased by all my options, I settled on some salmon and also made some brown rice, black beans, and sauteed vegetables on the side with of course, avocado. This was so filling but so yummy.

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Dinner woke me up a little but I still didn’t feel like doing much so I wasted time playing with my computer and painted my nails. Dessert was a few hours later 🙂

I picked up some new cereal because I realized I haven’t had a good cereal in a while. Kashi sweet potato sunshine is new and I recommend it to anyone that likes sweet potato! It’s lightly sweetened and really good to add to yogurt. I mixed my yogurt with oats and chia seeds then topped it with fresh blueberries, kashi cereal, and peanut butter. Twas a good night 😉

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What is your all time favorite cereal?

Does anyone else go crazy if they have no bananas in the house?

Link Love 7/19/15

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Recovery/Health:

My Version of “Healthy” – Fitting It All In

I recently came across this blog and really enjoyed reading this. It’s a good reminder for me.

Why I Don’t Want Six-Pack Abs – Coconuts And Kettleballs

I really enjoyed this article. ABS ARE THAT IMPORTANT PEOPLE!

The Pint – Lyss Moving Forward

Bravo. That is all. ❤ ❤

Noms:

Poached Egg & Avocado Toast – Pinch Of Yum

This was very helpful for my first poached egg experience

Spicy Chicken and Cheddar Waffle Sandwiches – Rachael Ray

Just when I thought waffles couldn’t be more appetizing….

Nutella Brownie Batter Dip – Chocolate Covered Katie

I would eat this whole bowl. 

Interesting Reads:

‘The Secret Life Of Pets’ Trailer – Variety

Am I the only one that cannot wait for this?

Old School Things I Hope Never Dies – Daily Mooves & Grooves

I totally can relate to all of these. I love Allison because she is so real and has a great personality 🙂

40 Cool Tie Dye Projects – DIYN Crafts

I will tie dye the world.

Peanut Butter Muffins

    Ever get a strong craving for a muffin? I don’t know where it came from but one day I really wanted something homemade for a snack. Peanut butter kind of always sounds good to me so things started clicking….

These muffins are moist, nutty, and perfectly sweetened with agave. I didn’t have these plain. I decided that topping it with MORE peanut butter was a better choice and lemme tell you, IT WAS!

pbmSoooo decadent ❤

You most definitely will want to down this with a glass of milk or else you will be licking your chops like a dog 🙂

Recipe:

  • 2 cups flour (I used half whole wheat and half all-purpose)
  • 1 Tbsp. baking powder
  • 1 1/2 cup milk
  • 1/3 cup creamy peanut butter
  • 6 T agave or honey
  • 1/4 cup coconut oil
  • pinch of salt
  • Cinnamon and vanilla extract to taste

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit . Whisk the flour, baking powder and salt in a medium sized bowl.

Add peanut butter & coconut oil (don’t melt) and mix with a fork until you get a crumby mixture. Add the honey & milk and mix until well combined. It should resemble an oatmeal texture.

Pour into 12 well sprayed muffin tins and bake for about 15 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean in the center and the tops are golden. Makes 12-14 muffins.

**Optional: I added a few blueberries to each muffin and it made it like a “jelly” or you can add chocolate chips like I did above.  

What’s YOUR favorite kind of muffin?