Fear Foods: How to Face Them

If you have/had struggled with an eating disorder, its likely you have certain rules for certain foods. More often than not, its because you have had a bad history regarding it or someone made you believe something about it for you to avoid it. I have overcome many of these things and there are ways to do it. It is possible- but it takes the drive and motivation if you ever want to break free from the fear.

  (Painting I did a while back)  Here are things that worked for me:

Confront the fear head on.

Food is not what you truly fear, it’s the feelings and worry around it.

(Ex. “I can’t eat that because I will blow up and not be able to fit into my clothes”. “If I eat such, I won’t have the control to stop”. )

Write down your fear and evaluate it. Is it really rational? Possible? Your mind can play tricks on you. It’s all about attitude. Instead of telling yourself “I can’t” or “I won’t”…. be more open-minded. Say to yourself: “I CAN eat things that bring me pleasure because I am a human worthy of nourishment” and “I actually WON’T blow up because one thing cannot change my body” Scientifically speaking, one meal is so minimal as far as affecting your body.

Point out the positives 

Don’t read the labels and fixate on every little detail. View the item as a whole and realize the good you are doing for your body. Even if it’s not super packed in nutrients (see post), its OKAY! It probably is a great source of carbs or healthy fats anyways that your body utilizes and makes you feel good and full of energy!

Emmy would say: “WOW, dem poptarts are full of bootylicious carbs that are gonna make me strong and sassy ;)”

Stop calling it “fear food”

If you spend day after day telling your self how scary or forbidden it is, the harder it is going to be to normalize it. Just recognize it for what it is. Sure it may be a little harder to eat now but the more and more you do it, the easier and easier it will become and one day it won’t even be an issue.

Be kind to yourself and trust your cravings

If you are avoiding a food, you not only are not listening to your body but you are making the cravings stronger. The stronger your unsatisfied cravings are, the more you think about it, and the more you fear of “overeating” it. Often times, people will over indulge on it because the have restricted it for so long, leading them to feel bad about themselves later. Then they avoid the food again, and the process repeats. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! So important. Start incorporating it into your diet again little by little and before you know it, the cravings will lessen because you are getting the satisfaction your body has been asking for.

If you read this post, it’s because you have those foods in mind that you WANT to overcome. It is possible and I will preach to you how very important it is to conquer ALL of those foods. Not only will your mind be so much more clear, your anxiety in general will go down and you will feel free. ❤

 What are some things you want to overcome?

How do you plan to do it?

Link Love 6/28/15

linklove Happy Sunday! Is that even a thing? I am feeling a bit more confident this week and it has a lot to do with who I surround myself with and keeping busy. Also found some great articles to share with you all:


Gaining Weight To Recover – Psychology Today

I think this is a good eye opener for a lot of people who don’t believe gaining weight is necessary

9 Quotes To Unleash The Courage Inside You – Recovery Warriors

Super motivating I must say


Chocolate Covered Cake Pops – Cooking With a Wallflower

The secret to these yummy cake pops are revealed

Homemade Brown Sugar Cinnamon Poptarts – Serious Eats

My life is complete.

Coconut Almond Butter – Radiant Life Catalog

Making my own nut butter is next on my list

Fun/Interesting Reads:

30 Fake Ben And Jerry’s Flavors You Want To Try – Bit Rebels

Umm I would love to know what a rainbow taste like

10 Things Happy People Are Doing Different – Life Hack

I shall start trying these…

Lessons I Learned From Belle In Beauty And The Beast – Hello Giggles

Bravo Disney. You teach me life lessons ❤

Why Not To Obsess With “Healthy Eating” In Recovery

Most people struggling withan eating disorder have the “good” food “bad” food mindset. They believe they can eat X but not Y for various reasons. I made this post to tell you all that you need to let go of that mindset.

It can be hard, especially when you hear so many things persuading you to eat certain things and avoid others, but that is media telling you these things. Media also tells us that the “beautiful perfect figure” is Barbie… Barbie wouldn’t even be able to walk on two legs if she was real because of her disproportions.

Do you feel like all you crave are sweet things such as ice cream, cookies, chips, desserts? Probably things you haven’t allowed yourself to in quite some time, right?

That is completely normal in recovery. But trust me, it wont be like that forever. You won’t go “out of control” and keep eating forever. I know many people that have that fear (I was one of them), but your body will level out and the cravings will subside when you become stabilized.

Did you know that 90% of our nutrient needs are for calories, and only 1% for vitamins!

People often think they need to eat to most vitamins and minerals every day to be “healthy” but your body doesn’t solely need them as much as you think.

I do believe your body needs whole foods too don’t get me wrong. All I am saying is that you don’t need to load yourself up every day worrying about getting enough nutrients. Processed foods are very much allowed and okay for your body to have.

High calorie foods are what matter most in recovery

The World Health Organization states that anything under 2100 calories to be starvation mode. If you don’t increase your intake and choose to recover on a small amount, your overall health won’t improve.

I found an article called “Minnesota Starvation Experiment and Eating Disorders” and I’ll quote what it said:

“After six months the rehabilitation started, Keys divided men into four groups which received 400, 800, 1200, or 1600 more calories than what they had in starvation. He did this to observe the optimum amount of calories for them. But for the men in the lowest calories groups saw almost not improvement, they still felt hungry all the time and had no signs of recovery. Even after providing them with vitamin and protein supplements the didn’t improve, they just needed more calories! He eventually concluded that in order to recover from starvation, a person needs around 4000 calories a day to rebuild their strength.”

Basically when you are in starvation mode, your body’s goal is survival. It stops exerting extra energy for your metabolism, so it slows down. Your body temp goes way down, you freeze at normal room temperatures, along with slowed cell renewal and non -existent hormone production. It does all this to focus on keeping your heart beating, brain functioning, and stores fat whenever it can.If your body didn’t do this, you would die very fast. It’s kind of fascinating how smart our bodies are and will fight to keep us alive.

This is why you need to so desperately need to increase your calorie intake to 3000-4000 calories in recovery. You have done so much damage to your poor body and it doesn’t heal over night.

Don’t Worry So Much About Healthy Eating In Recovery

When you reach your ideal body weight by eating a sufficient amount of energy, then its more ideal to start including more whole foods. You don’t need to be worried about this while you trying to gain to a healthy weight. Right now, your body is looking for lots of energy!

Low calorie, high water, high fiber foods will fill you up way to fast and will keep you too full to eat the amount you need. It also can be very hard on your body to digest. I love apples, but I had to choose things like dried fruits for a while and you wouldn’t believe how good of a choice that was!

Do your body a favor- NOURISH IT! Eat things you haven’t had in so long because the thoughts were holding you back. Don’t let them in! You are fighting for your life back and food is the only medicine. Variety is soo important as well. I can’t eat the same things everyday, imagine how boring that would be!

I really hope this helped you see that obsessing over all the food you eat isn’t necessary. Love yourself, trust yourself and eat whatever the hell you want. As you can see, it’s most important to get out of starvation mode and to repair cell damage.

Kick ass. ❤

Five Things Friday 6/26/15


Five Things I Ate:

Lemon Blueberry Cupcakes of course! With greek yogurt and almonds


BAGELS. But really though, do you even bagel….


Pancakes! It was actually pretty funny because I wanted to use ALL the batter so I made this very cute small pancake. It looks like a frowny face if you look close enough…. Hey Bruno.


PIZZA!!! Ate it all. T’was amazing.


Birthday Cake Teddy Grahams! These make me so happy. I’m on a birthday cake kick right now.


Five Things I pinned:







Five Things I learned:

  1. I still have a lot of mental progress to make.
  2. No exercise is hard, but very possible.
  3. I quite enjoy doing nothing past 8 PM.
  4. You can have dreams that actually wake you up because you are laughing.
  5. Continuing #4, I think chocolate peanut butter before was the reason.

What are some thing you learned this week?

Peanut Butter or Almond Butter?

Nuts N More Peanut Butter Reviews

When I started branching out of my nut butter collection, this brand was one that caught my eye via Instagram. Seeing people rave about how good this stuff was made it hard to stay away! Luckily, I was able to find some to try at my local GNC.


The first one I tried was the Pumpkin Spice Peanut Butter!

I knew I had to try this one because it is limited edition and all things pumpkin are a win for me 🙂 I was a little disappointed when I first opened it. The smell was AMAZING and I couldn’t wait to take out a spoonful, but I couldn’t. The liquid had separated completely from the nut butter and was so hard to stir together! I kid you not it took me about 20 minutes to at least get a good consistency, still left with some chunks. I don’t know if it had been sitting on the shelf longer than it should have because the Toffee Crunch was not like that at all. As far as the flavor, UNBELIEVEABLE! It doesn’t lack the pumpkin spice flavor at all. It is exactly as perfect as it sounds. Fall in a jar. This peanut butter is the icing on the cake for anything from oats to pancakes to bananas. I actually do recommend this peanut butter for anyone that loves pumpkin spiced things.



Toffee Crunch was tried a few months after. I didn’t really NEED a new nut butter when I bought this…. but who really has a limit for how many jars of nut butter you can have. I love variety.

I have heard many people commenting on how heavenly and rich this peanut butter is- and they’re so right! Unlike the other flavor, I was happy to open up this one and find the most creamiest peanut butter ever. I’m talking silky smooth and mouthwatering. It not only looks delicious, it SMELLS delicious! Kind of reminds me of the toffee part of a Heath bar but in peanut butter form. I first tried this on my French toast and was blown away. For those that have a major sweet tooth and (nut butter tooth…?) go buy this one! cream


WIAW 6/24/15


Hello world! It’s time for another round of What I Ate Wednesday! It seems like it’s been a long week with Father’s Day and helping my brother move in. I’m going to keep my intro short and dive right into my eats:

Saturday night I had made some snickerdoodle overnight oats because I wasn’t really feeling the urge to make anything in the morning. OIAJ is probably one of my favorite breakfasts because its cool, fresh, and the toppings are endless. I love thick oats.

oatI topped it off with greek yogurt, figs, and fresh blueberries (also ate wayyy more than pictured). Pescience snickerdoodle makes oats unbelievable 🙂

I was a little frustrated because my lunch got pushed back a lot later than I’m used to. But I am trying to learn to be more flexible and tell myself its okay if not everything goes as planned. We ended up taking my dad to one of his favorite Mexican restaurants for Father’s Day. I was really indecisive so I chose some chicken enchiladas last minute because you can never go wrong with enchiladas. SO. MUCH. CHEESE ❤


When we came home, I knew I still needed to keep my intake up. I was glad that I made some Lemon Blueberry Cupcakes the day before. They are so yummy I couldn’t resist.


After enjoying the pool with my family, I had to make dinner. I wasn’t exactly super close to my intake goals and my parents never eat dinner when we go out to lunch. I am a 17 year old and can make her own food. Blessed to still have bagels since no one touches them but me, I made a bagel sandwich with turkey, provolone, hummus, avocado, and spinach! This is basically some of the greatest things you can add to a sandwich in one. Had that along with some veggies because I was feeling it.


My stomach was really hurting and bloated before this, I blame the red enchilada sauce (tomatoes can have that affect sometimes). I laid on my back on my bed for about an hour after dinner to take some of the pressure away. I drank a little water and felt 100% better 🙂 Thankfully because I wasn’t going to let some stomach issue get in the way of meeting my goal. Still not as high as I wanted to be so I settled on some denser snacks. Instead of fresh berries, I had a larabar. I also had a quest bar because I love this flavor and some birthday cake teddy grahams. Find those teddies! They are addicting and sooo cute! How can you be sad eating cute food? 😉


What did you do for Father’s Day?

Favorite larabar and quest bar flavors?

Ben and Jerry’s Milk N Cookies Review

I never plan when I have pints. Not anymore at least. Ice cream sounded good last weekend so I searched through the flavors to find one that I haven’t tried before. I am one for trying new things 🙂

Milk N Cookies has always been one I’ve been curious about. It was bittersweet to choose this flavor over my classic Half Baked. There is just something about the magical cookie dough chunks in that pint that keep me coming back for more. I like big chunks. A lot.

AAAfter asking several people, I finally decided to give this one a shot. I mean, how bad could it really be? It’s Ben and Jerry’s!

But first, gotta take a selfie!


As soon as I took off the lid I was pleasantly surprised to see a chocolate cookie swirl. The label reads “Vanilla ice cream with a chocolate cookie swirl, chocolate chip, and chocolate chocolate chip cookie” They weren’t lying when they put that extra “chocolate” in the title.


Not only was this pint full of soft chocolate cookies, the ice cream surrounding it was soft, fluffy, and didn’t melt super fast. The chocolately cookies are almost reminiscent of an Oreo cookie without the frosting but much softer! And don’t get me started on the chocolate chip cookies 😀


I have a new favorite….. or at least coming in the lead with Half Baked.

Would I get this again? HELL YES.

Would I recommend you getting this? HELL YES

Was it worth every bite to the end? %$@! YES…….


Treat yoself and treat yoself often! I am happy and felt completely satisfied after my pint. I even wake up with a bigger appetite in the morning after I have a pint…. Ice cream has magical powers ❤

Thank you BJ


Ways To Increase Intake

I get asked a lot by people how I reach 3000 calories.

It can be simple if you incorporate denser foods. This can be hard for people struggling with an eating disorder because most of those foods are probably “fear foods”. That is EXACTLY the more reason to be eating them! Not only are you doing your body a huge favor, your mental health will improve the more you eat what you label as “bad”. You might even realize how much you actually enjoy certain foods that you haven’t allowed yourself to have in a long time. There should never be restrictions in recovery. Always listen to your body when it’s craving something.

Eat more FATS!

Fats are soooo good for you! You can read more about it here.


  • Add avocado to salads, sandwiches, eggs, toast, or simply just sprinkle on some salt and eat it with a spoon!
  • Use at least 2 tablespoons of nut butter always! Use 3-4 if you want! Not only is one tablespoon not satisfying but its like against nut butter law to have less. Add to oats (my fav), bagels, bananas sweet potatoes, ANYTHING! Even better, don’t measure!
  • Cook with oil! Olive oil, coconut oil, butter, whatever you use at home! It makes your food taste so much better and browns everything really nice. Unless you like pancakes sticking to the pan….
  • Full fat cheese is life! Add cheese to eggs, sandwiches, salads, etc. I love making avocado grilled cheese with 1/2 avocado and 2-3 slices of provolone and grilled like a panini. Perfection 🙂
  • Use eggs instead of egg whites. The yolks are the best part people! So healthy for you and has been called the “perfect food” for all the nutrients in the yolk. Click here for more.

Carbs are your friend!

  • Eating denser carbs like bagels, poptarts, granola, dried fruit, etc. are not only going to make you bloat sooo much less but it can actually make you less full for the next meal/snack. So eat as many carbs as your heart desires because they are just ENERGY!

gd    fig

  • Ditch the diet foods! Arctic Zero, PB2, Bagel thins, Walden Farms syrups, you get the idea. I am going to be brutally honest and say those are going to get you no where mentally. Yes, you can gain weight incorporating all your safe foods but what good is that doing mentally? You need to be eating real foods so you can build a healthy relationship with it again.
  • Drink liquid calories! Again, may be a “fear” for many but hey, if it will cause a lot less bloating and make it 10X easier to reach your goal, I would definitely recommend it. Milk (not skim), juice, smoothies, hot chocolate, coffee with real cream and sugar are all great options to add on top of both meals and snacks.
  • Double up on portions. (Nuff said)


Snack Ideas:

  • Add oats to yogurt! I used to add around 1/3-1/2 cup oats to 1 cup yogurt and you barely notice it- making it easy to add without feeling like you are. It just gives the yogurt a thicker consistency and taste even better with fruit and granola!
  • Trail mixes with mixed nuts, chocolate, and dried fruit! You can really get creative with it 🙂
  • Snackanimals/Teddy Grahams with lots of nut butter
  • Clif bars, larabars, any bars will do 😉 but these are great because they are dense and all bars are so yum!
  • Banana Split made with ice cream, full banana, melted dark chocolate peanut butter or nutella, nuts, and of course spranks!
  • Protein Smoothies!
  • Peanut Butter Banana Wrap
  • Bake some cookies or muffins and have some with milk!
  • POPTARTS! I recently have started to like these again. My favorites right now are the chocolate chip cookie dough and the peanut butter 🙂
  • Big Bowl O Stuff! Basically is what it is. Use at least 1 cup greek yogurt, throw in all the fun toppings like cereal, protein bar, granola, nuts, protein powder, cookies, anything your heart desires ❤
  • Chocolate
  • Protein Bars! Be careful how reliant you are with these. They can be a safe option and its good to branch out but these are good to add on top of a snack.
  • Go out for Froyo or ice cream with someone! Make some memories 😉
  • Waffles before bed gives you good dreams….

Remember that you will be breaking a lot of rules you set for yourself and it may feel really uncomfortable at first, but guys, it is going to be so good for you in the long run!

I sometimes have more than one of those above at once. I also have a treat everyday to every other day. 

Remind yourself that not everything you eat needs to be 100% “healthy”. Its good to have a balance and that those treats are what will make you enjoy this process so much more!

The more you think about it and put thought into it, it could open doors to a lot of anxiety and time to opt out of it. Go with the flow and when your body craves it, go for it!

Your body will thank you for the nourishment ❤

What is your favorite poptart flavor?

Favorite place to go out to eat?

Link Love 6/21/15


Hey everyone! I found some really deep and interesting reads this week and I hope you all plan to look at them all.

Anyways, its Father’s Day! Don’t forget to remind your dad how much he means to you and do something special for his day. We usually have a cook out and I bake something sweet for him and the family 🙂 What do you like to do?

Enough rambling though because I am sure you all came here for the awesome links:


Why It’s Better To Have A Big Butt– Good Housekeeping


Psuedo-Recovery VS Real Recovery– Better With Sprinkles

This post is perfect. Really evaluate what you need to do to overcome that hunch.

100 Reasons To Recover

Please read this if you are struggling. Keep these in the front of your mind all the time when you are having bad days. The list goes on and you are worth it.


31 Foods You Definitely Ate As A Kid– Play Buzz

Such a blast from the past! Dunkaroos why you leave me?

21 Delicious Ways To Eat Pizza – Life Hack

Calling all pizza lovers….. So cheesy ❤

Bacon Cinnamon Rolls– How Sweet It Is

Cinnamon Roll. Bacon. Need I say more?

Fun Stuff:

7 Things You Didn’t Know About Orange Is The New Black– Marie Claire

Fricken LOVE this show

50 Most Perfectly Timed Photos Ever– Twisted Sifter

On point if you know what I mean 😉

Let’s connect!

Email: emlove814@gmail.com

Homemade PB Jelly Larabars

Larabars are pure bliss. But a part of me has always wanted to try making my own! I mean how hard could it be? It’s only a few ingredients to begin with!

Ever since I got a food processor, my baking experiences have been so much better. I highly recommend if you love to bake things to go out and get one. Walmart has some pretty cool deals if you ask me 🙂

mAs you can tell by my site, I am pretty fond of something called peanut butter. Yeah, so I heard it was sent from the gods and made especially to give people shiny hair and happy feels…. Feeling down? Just grab some peanut butter and I guarantee that frown will turn upside down.

This is a very simple recipe:

  • 1 3/4 cup pitted dates (soaked in warm water for 20 minutes to soften then drained)
  • 1/4 cup crunchy or creamy peanut butter (I chose crunchy)
  • 1/4 cup raw almonds
  • 1/2 cup dried cranberries
  • 1/2 cup oats

After you soak and drain the dates, add them to a food processor along with every other ingredient.


Blend until everything is well combined.


CAUTION: Loud AF so brace yourself!

Spoon mixture into a square pan and firmly press down so that you have a nice even layer. Place in the fridge or freezer for about 20-30 minutes so they get firm.


Take out and cut into and cut into 6 bars.

There you have it my friends, homemade soft and chewy peanutbutterlicious larabar!


It’s best to store in the fridge to keep fresh.